Helping Bicultural Individuals Heal Transgenerational Trauma
Therapy for Anxiety, Self-doubt and Guilt in Irvine and Throughout California
Feeling Torn Between Two Cultures is Incredibly Challenging.
Do you feel torn between what you want and what the culture you come from tells you to do and be? Do you experience anxiety, self-doubt, and guilt ?
Perhaps you have a deep sense of responsibility to make your parents happy, and when you fall short, feel stuck in a loop of beating yourself up and feeling hopeless.
When you get into the cycle of beating yourself up , you start procrastinating at work or with tasks at home . This leads to you feeling even worst about yourself and almost more unsure on what you should be focusing on.
You feel like a jerk when you do what you want, but you feel resentful when you try to make your family happy.
Have you found asking yourself 'What’s wrong with me? and start spiraling?
You feel stuck. How can you say anything when you know your parents just want what’s best for you? They’ve sacrificed so much, and you’re grateful—or at least you’re supposed to be. But deep down, their words leave you questioning yourself. You choose not to respond, but the silence feels heavy. The guilt builds as you hear their voices in your mind, saying things like, “Why are you so ungrateful?”
Something feels off in your daily life, and it’s weighing on you physically. You might feel constantly emotionally and physically exhausted. Just when you finally have a moment to relax or enjoy yourself, a text message arrives. It seems caring at first, but there are undertones of disapproval or subtle reminders: “I know you enjoy what you are doing, but how is it helping you to build a future? You need a real career that offers stability, not just some hobby”. "Hi, just wanted to check in. Have you thought about visiting more often? It feels like we hardly see you these days, and family should always come first, don’t you think?"
What is Transgenerational Trauma?
Transgenerational trauma refers to the emotional and psychological wounds that get passed down from one generation to the next. When our parents, grandparents, or ancestors experienced significant hardships—whether through immigration, war, poverty, discrimination, or family dysfunction—the effects of those experiences don't simply disappear with time. Instead, they can influence family patterns, communication styles, and coping mechanisms that shape how we see ourselves and navigate the world.
As an immigrant myself, I understand how the courage it took for our families to start over in a new country can also carry unspoken pain. The sacrifices, the losses, the constant adaptation—these experiences create ripple effects that impact how we parent, how we relate to others, and how we view our own worth and belonging.
Complex trauma develops when we experience ongoing stress or adverse situations over extended periods, particularly during our formative years. For many adult children of immigrants, this might look like:
❤️Growing up feeling responsible for your family's emotional well-being
🫂Navigating between two cultures while feeling fully accepted by neither
🩹Experiencing chronic stress from financial instability or family conflict
🏆Feeling pressure to "succeed" to justify your family's sacrifices
🥀Learning to suppress your own needs to maintain family harmony
Unlike a single traumatic event, complex trauma shapes our nervous system and our sense of self in profound ways. It can leave us feeling anxious, disconnected from our authentic selves, or caught in cycles of self-doubt and perfectionism.
The important thing to understand is that these struggles make complete sense given your experiences. You're not broken—you're responding to circumstances that were genuinely difficult. And most importantly, healing is absolutely possible.
Complex Trauma: When Life Feels Overwhelming
Therapy for Transgenerational Trauma and Complex Trauma Can Help.
Hi, I’m Cristina Deneve.
If you are experiencing feeling torn between two worlds I can help you. I’m am a therapist specializing in Transgenerational Trauma and Complex Trauma. My superpower is helping you to ease the anxiety of feeling torn between two worlds, break free from heavy expectations, and reconnect with who you truly are.
My own journey of self-reconnection led me to transition from engineering to therapy. As a fellow bicultural individual, immigrant, parent of 3 American children, and someone in a biracial marriage, I understand the challenges of navigating cultural expectations.
I’m also a certified EMDR therapist. EMDR is an evidence based approach that speeds up the healing. I am passionate about helping individuals heal from trauma because I believe that everyone deserves the opportunity to live a life free from the weight of their past, expectations and step into a future full of possibility and resilience.
I help First and Second Generation Americans heal so that they can:
Live Authentically Without Guilt or Shame
Learn to say ‘no’ and stand up for themselves without feeling like they’re letting anyone down.
Love their family and honor their culture while living a life true to themselves.
Find Peace Between Two Worlds
Find a way to reconnect with their culture while building a life that feels true to themselves.
Create a sense of belonging without losing themselves.
Learn Healthier Family Dynamics that Will Allow them to Break the Cycle for Future Generations
Stop carrying the same patterns of silence, guilt, or shame into their own family.
Learn how to communicate and break those cycles so their kids and they can have a healthier relationship.
First and Second Generation Americans who have worked with me have said things like:
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"You have changed my life for the better. Now I believe in myself, I can stand up for myself, I feel that I have control over my life, and I feel at peace."
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"You have helped me tremendously. People have noticed a change in me—they say I seem happier now. I no longer explode like I used to because I’ve learned how to communicate and set boundaries. Now, I can protect myself and feel good about who I am."
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"I don't know how to thank you for helping me turn my life around completely. I hardly recognize this person who is assertive, confident, knows who they are, what they want, what they need, and how to get it."
Healing from Transgenerational Trauma Is Possible
You aren’t alone. It’s not your fault, and healing is possible. You deserve to live a life where cultural expectations and family dynamics don’t cause constant guilt, anxiety, or self-doubt.
It may feel like being torn between your family’s expectations and your own desires is just a way of life. It doesn’t have to be. You can feel confident in who you are. You can set boundaries without guilt. You can live a life that honors your family and culture while staying true to yourself.
If you are ready to invest in yourself, please reach out today. I am here to walk with you on your journey to healing and self-discovery. I can’t wait to accompany you.
ADDITIONAL SERVICES
Therapy for Immigrants Who Arrived Later in Life
If you immigrated to the United States as an adult, you face unique challenges that deserve specialized understanding and support. The process of rebuilding your life, career, and identity in a new country while maintaining connections to your homeland creates a complex emotional landscape that many therapists may not fully grasp.
I provide culturally sensitive therapy in both English and Spanish for immigrants who are navigating:
Identity and Belonging Challenges
Feeling caught between your culture of origin and American culture
Struggling with changes in your professional or social status
Questioning your decision to immigrate or feeling regret
Difficulty maintaining your sense of self while adapting to new norms
Practical and Emotional Stressors
Anxiety about language barriers in professional or social settings
Depression related to isolation or loss of community
Grief over what you left behind—family, career, familiar surroundings
Stress from navigating complex systems (healthcare, education, employment)
Family and Relationship Dynamics
Tension with children who are becoming "more American"
Strain in your marriage due to different adaptation speeds
Difficulty setting boundaries while maintaining family loyalty
Feeling misunderstood by family members who didn't immigrate
My approach honors your strength and resilience while helping you process the very real losses and challenges that come with starting over. Together, we'll work to integrate your experiences, reduce anxiety and depression, and help you create a life that feels authentic to who you are across cultures.
Parenting Guidance for Immigrant Families
Raising children in a culture different from the one where you were raised brings unique joys and challenges. Many immigrant parents find themselves wondering how to pass on their values while helping their children succeed in American society. This delicate balance often creates stress, conflict, and self-doubt about your parenting choices.
I offer specialized parenting guidance that helps you:
Navigate Cultural Conflicts with Confidence
Find ways to honor your cultural values while respecting your children's need to fit in
Address conflicts around dating, career choices, family obligations, and independence
Communicate effectively across generational and cultural differences
Set appropriate boundaries that feel right for your family
Support Your Children's Mental Health
Recognize signs of anxiety, depression, or identity struggles in your children
Learn how to talk to your children about their emotions and experiences
Understand how cultural stress might be affecting your child's behavior or academic performance
Create a home environment that supports both cultural pride and emotional well-being
Strengthen Family Relationships
Improve communication patterns that may have been affected by immigration stress
Address guilt and shame that might be impacting your parent-child relationship
Build trust and connection while maintaining your role as a cultural guide
Help your children understand and appreciate their heritage without feeling burdened by it
My parenting guidance sessions can be conducted in English or Spanish, depending on your comfort level. I understand the specific pressures immigrant parents face, and I'm here to support you in raising children who are confident, culturally grounded, and emotionally healthy.
EMDR in Your Language
I provide EMDR therapy in both English and Spanish, allowing you to process your experiences in the language that feels most natural and emotionally authentic to you. Sometimes our deepest experiences are stored in our first language, and being able to access those memories and emotions without the barrier of translation can make the healing process more complete and effective.
What to Expect
EMDR doesn't require you to talk extensively about your trauma or painful experiences. Instead, we work together to help your brain naturally process and integrate these experiences while you focus on specific movements or sounds. Many clients find relief relatively quickly, though the exact timeline varies for each person.
During our work together, you might notice:
Decreased emotional reactivity to situations that used to overwhelm you
More confidence in your identity and your place in both cultures
Improved relationships with family members
Reduced anxiety and depressive symptoms
A greater sense of peace with your past and hope for your future
Whether you're dealing with specific traumatic events or the cumulative stress of navigating life between cultures, EMDR can be a powerful tool for creating lasting change and helping you feel more at home in your own life.
I'm here to guide you through this process with patience, cultural understanding, and deep respect for your unique story and strengths.
FAQs
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Sometimes, the pain or struggles our parents, grandparents, or even earlier family members went through can get passed down to us. This happens not because they want to hurt us, but because their experiences—like living through war, poverty, discrimination, or other hard times—can affect how they see the world, handle emotions, or raise their children.
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I offer a free consultation call to see if we are a good fit. After this call, my fee is 175 for a 50 minute individual session.
Regarding Insurance: I am in Network with Aetna and United Health Care in California This means that if I don’t take your particular insurance you can often obtain reimbursement with insurance companies if your particular plan has out-of-network benefits.
Most insurance plans with out-of-network benefits will reimburse you 60-90% of my fee when you submit a receipt called a superbill that I provide to you.
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Online counseling is convenient, and allows you to access counseling from the comfort of your own home from Empower U secure video platform.
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The duration of therapy for transgenerational trauma can vary widely depending on several factors, including the client’s goals, the complexity of the trauma, the therapeutic approach used, and the client’s readiness and ability to process their experiences.
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Yes, people can heal from transgenerational trauma, though the process often requires time, commitment, and support. Healing doesn’t necessarily mean erasing the trauma or its effects but involves creating healthier patterns, breaking cycles of harm, and finding a sense of empowerment and self-connection.
Book a Free 15-Min Consultation
I accept Aetna, UnitedHealthcare, Oxford, and Quest Behavioral Health insurance plans. If you do not have one of these plans, my fee is $175 per session.If you have a PPO plan, I can provide you with a superbill that you can submit to your insurance company for partial reimbursement (coverage varies by plan, so I encourage you to check with your insurance provider for details).I currently provide online therapy only. Please note that EMDR therapy is just as effective online as it is in person.
Therapy is one of the best investments you can make in yourself. Many of my clients say their only regret is not starting sooner because of the positive changes they’ve experienced.
“Therapy for Bicultural Individuals isn’t the only service I offer at my California online therapy practice . Other mental health services at Empower U include Therapy for Immigrants, Terapia en Espanol, EMDR Therapy and Parenting Support for Immigrants. Contact me to learn more about how I can help you overcome the anxiety, self-doubt and guilt”.
Get started with therapy for Transgenerational Trauma today.
You don’t have to live with anxiety, constant guilt and self doubt. Therapy can help you find peace, set boundaries, feel confident in who you are, and live authentically. My online therapy practice Empower U specializes in adult children of immigrants who suffer from Transgenerational Trauma and Complex Trauma. To start your counseling journey, follow these simple steps
Step 1
Book a free 15-min consultation call with Cristina
Step 3
Start reconnecting with your true self and rediscover or propel your dreams, overcoming the fear of being invalidated or criticized. Find peace as you navigate family dynamics and cultural expectations.
Step 2
Meet with Cristina for an intake session